Jealousy can be an overwhelming sensation. You may feel sick in the stomach, unable to think, feel overwhelmed with rage, utterly lost, betrayed and so on .

First accept that while you hope your partner(s) will be able to deal gently with you in your jealousy, it is ultimately your responsibility to deal with. Assuming no partner has betrayed your trust, your partner does not make you jealous by their actions. It is your emotion.

You and your partner(s) may need to work out (at least temporarily) a compromise agreement on seeing other people which you can cope with. Be aware that this agreement should be made in the light of your efforts to resolve your jealous feelings to the degree you are able (this can be a long-term commitment to growth on your part!) This compromise agreement should be revisited at intervals. Recognise it is a trade-off between the intensity of your feelings and your partner's legitimate desire for freedom.

Learn to deal with your jealousy. Jealousy is a cluster emotion which may involve a complex combination of fear of abandonment, possessiveness, envy, low self-esteem and so on. You may find it useful to sit with it and try to tease out individual strands.

A very valuable resource is Kathy LaBriola's article "Jealousy: Unmasking The Green-Eyed Monster" [link to: http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/jealousy.html]. This provides an insightful analysis of what jealousy is, and provides some practical exercises for Polyamorous people which may aid you in reducing your jealousy. Issues underlying jealousy may be dealt with through counselling, however make sure that your counsellor is Poly-friendly ­ many do not understand and will try to “treat” your Polyamory (much as gays were "treated" for their homosexuality until recently).